Contratulations GOP on a great victory by stopping fair Health Care for all.

(from All Hat No Cattle... http://www.allhatnocattle.net/)

Frustrated by corrupt, broken, old, worn out, government?

Feel like throwing Molotov Cocktails at the nearest thing government because of their failure to serve the poor and disabled on the Health Care (reform) Bill?

Frustrated over the lack of TERM LIMITS for U.S. Senators after their love letter to the insurance industry they call a POS bill?

What can you do to at least feel like you are doing something to fight the modern day Roman Empire masquerading as a federal government?

MoveOn.Org!

MoveOn.Org

MoveOn.org Political Action is entirely funded by hundreds of thousands of our members - we don't take big checks from corporations. The average contribution is around $50 and we don't take any contributions larger than $5000.

Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

But MoveOn will lobby for common sense democracy with our 2009 agenda:

Agenda Process: Hundreds of thousands of us voted, and now the results are in. We now know what to focus on in 2009: universal health care, economic recovery and job creation, building a green economy and stopping climate change, and ending the war in Iraq.

Join... donate... feel better.

Zed Lepplin's How To Grow Medical Marijuana Seminar... Free!

Always Be Flowering

Hi... my name is Zed and I'm here to teach you to grow weed.

I have some basic rules to give you, and I don't believe in beating around the bush.

This business takes dedication and intestinal fortitude, and your fingernails get really, really dirty... so if you're not ready to give it everything you have, then just get up and get the fuck out right now.

I drive a goddamn five hundred thousand dollar electric Tesla Roadster.

Instead of a watch, I had the scientists at NIST imbed a nuclear powered LED display
under the skin in my wrist, like that guy in Beautiful Mind, only it tells time.

So don't come around here with your fucking Lexus SUV's and tell me about fucking
growing fucking weed.

Three words... ALWAYS BE FLOWERING.

You might think you're some kinda fucking hotshot, but you are not shit unless you
are flowering. Not thinking about flowering. Not going to the store to get shit
to be flowering. But motherfuckingcocksucking flowering twentyfour fucking hours
a fucking day and seven motherfucking days a week.

Everyone reading this who is flowering... stand up.

If you did not stand up... get the fuck out. Get out of my motherfucking sight.
You make me sick.

For those of you still here... we have some fast flowering strains for you in the other room.

Whoever comes back with the lowest yield is fired and their children will be ridiculed in public. God help you if your daughter is chubby.

I hope you get the point. We are not playing games here.

It's all about the fast strains in flower. If you put a new cycle into flower
every three weeks, you might not get rich, but you could hire Sarah Palin to fly in and give you a hand... job. Wait... that is pretty fucking rich.

But you can do it if you want it bad enough. You could hire the Virgin Mary to come and take a dump in your latrine if you want it bad enough.

So before we take a break and I can belittle you in person, lets sum up what we have learned so far:

1. Always Be Flowering.

2. Don't overfeed your children or plants.


More after the break...

The Ten Best Guitarists of All Time

Are you tired of worrying about Penis Theft?

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The Legend of Chemdog and the 13 Seeds

At a Grateful Dead show at Deer Creek Amphitheatre, 'joebrand' (aka 'wonkanobe') and 'pbud' met 'chemdog' and sold him an ounce of very high quality pot for $500.

Joe and chemdog exchanged numbers and they later arranged for two ounces to be shipped to chemdog on the east coast.

According to chemdog, one ounce was seedless and the other had 13 seeds. Here began the Chemdog lineage and from there many of the highest regarded clones in the USA.

Brief background

In ’91, chemdog popped the first 4 seeds. From these seeds, one male was found and disposed of (chemdog was young, you can’t blame him). The 3 females were labeled ‘chemdawg’ (now ’91 chemdawg), ‘chemdawg a’ (now chemdawg’s sister), and ‘chemdawg b’.


In '01, chemdog and his girlfriend attempted to germ 3 more seeds, labeled c’, ‘d’, and ‘e’. the ‘e’ seed never germinated, ‘c’ turned out to be junk (according to chemdog), and chemdawg ‘d’ was the keeper. In 06, 'chemdog' and 'joebrand' reunited and joe was given 4 of the last 6 beans: Chemdawg phenos 1-4, '4' being the chosen keeper. Joe thought the '4' was the best representation of the original and thus dubbed it the 'reunion pheno'.

Chemdog still has two seeds left in his stash.



The Chemdawg Crosses


• 'OG Kush' (the original cut) came from an s1 from in a bag of '91 Chemdawg in the Lake Tahoe area in 1996.
• 'Sour Diesel' aka ECSD came from an accidental cross of ('91 Chemdawg x Mass Super Skunk/NL)x DNL after the DNL hermed and seeded the room. The DNL's lineage is NL/Shiva x Hawaiian.
• Original Diesel' (also known as Diesel #1, Headband, Daywrecker Diesel, Underdawg) came from a cross of '91 Chemdawg x (Mass Super Skunk x Sensi's Northern Lights) done by a guy known as ‘weasel’.
• 'chemdog' and friends made several crosses that are held closely by a small group of friends and acquaintances. Among them are:


1. Super Snowdawg (Bubble Chem x [Super skunk x Oregon Sno])
2. Giesel (Chem D x Mass Super Skunk)
3. Bubble Chem (Chemdawg’s Sister x Sag's Bubbleberry)
4. Dawg Daze aka ChemHaze (Chem D x ’93 Sensi's NL#5/Haze)
5. Chemdawg D x Pbud (another old-school Colorado strain)


JJ-NYC has been working on a Chemdawg D-based seed line for several years now. He started by crossing Chemdawg D to Sensi's Afghani after thoroughly testing both Sensi's Afghani and Sensi's Hindu Kush to determine which was more stable and would be better for the initial cross.

JJ then did a backcross, known as "Double Dawg." Several phenos of this circulate and several people still have beans. JJ's latest work to the line is a second backcross known as ''Tres Dawg" which is just starting to get tested.

Rezdog of Reservoir Seeds recently released several Chemdawg crosses as part of his 'Trinity' charity auctions. The crosses included Chemdawg D x Sensi's Hindu Kush and Snowdawg x Sensi's Hindu Kush, Chemdawg D x Sour Diesel IBL, Snowdawg x Sour Diesel IBL, ChemHaze x Sour Diesel IBL and Giesel x Sour Diesel IBL.

(By High and Lonesome)

Chelsea Clinton Stabs Rush Limbaugh in the Neck!

Chelsea was heard to scream "Who's ugly now, fat boy?" as she plunged a nine inch butcher knife into the neck of the "entertainer".

More to come on this breaking story...

Elementary School Musical

SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "MOMMA MIA":

DONNA
It was eaten by you
And I think you know when.
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at my ass, will it ever stop burning?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my bowel.
Just one look and I can hear a stomach scream.
One more look and I fart and everything

Diarrhea, here I blow again
My my, how can I stop going?
Diarrhea, does it show again
My My, just how much I smell to you?
Yes, I've been farting,
Blue since the day we parted.
Why, why did I ever let it go?
Diarrhea, now I really know
My my, I should not have let it go.

Look at my ass
Will it ever stop burning?
I don't know how
But I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my bowel.
Just one look and I can hear a stomach scream.
One more look and I fart and everything.

Diarrhea, here I blow again
My my, how can they piss on you?
Diarrhea, does it show again
My, my, how much they pissed on you?
Yes, I've been farting,
Blue since the day we parted.
Why, why did I ever let it go?
Diarrhea, now I really know
My my, I should not have let it go.

DONNA
What the hell are you all doing here?
Well I'd love to stop and chat, but I
have to go and clean out my
douche bag: or something.

BILL
Something must've pissed on her.

HARRY
I was expecting a rather fat smelly girl.

SAM
So you weren't disappointed in Donna.

DONNA / SAM / BILL / HARRY
Just one look and I can hear a stomach scream
One more look and I fart and everything

Diarrhea, here I blow again
My my, how can they piss on you?

Diarrhea, does it show again
My, my, like something pissed on you?

Yes, I've been farting.
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let it go?
Diarrhea, now I really know
My my, I should not have let it go.

Diarrhea!

A Valentine for my Ex

Goodbye to my dearest.
Goodbye my ex-lover.
And say goodbye to your titties,
One bigger than the other.

I'll miss some of your cooking,
And your overall attention.
And all the friends and family,
at your intervention.

I'll miss the bed.
I'll miss the covers.
But I won't miss your
Smelly mother.

And so it ends,
and I leave with class.
Thank God I don't have to take,
Your fat, old, flabby, ass.

Although you nagged and criticized me,
each and every day.
I've sort of grown accustomed to it,
and love you anyway.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

The Massengill Disposable Douche Bowl

Welcome to the First Annual Massengill Disposable Douche Bowl

Featuring the Beavers of Oregon State University vs. the Beavers of California Institute of Technology

With your announcers... Brent Musburger and Bob Griese

Brent: Welcome to the first annual Massengill Disposable Douche Bowl and here's my blow-by-blow man.

Bob: Thanks Brent... there's nothing like the Masengill, huh Brent?

Brent: Uhh... right Bob, and lets get to the matchup this evening.

Bob: We have a pair of Beavers tonight, Brent. Not one but two of the hairy wood chewers.

Brent: And neither team threatening for the national championship, but still an interesting matchup.

Bob: You're telling me, Brent... I didn't even know CIT had a football team.

Brent: Although both these Beavers could be a little more tidy here and there, it seems we're in the right place for that, huh Bob?

Bob: This is one corporate sponsor that really wants to clean up college sports.

Brent: Yes, and you know it's getting to be that time of the month, Bob.

Bob: Huh?

Brent: You know... the end of the football season when we have all these silly corporate bowl games.

Bob: Like the Chick-Filet Bowl?

Brent: Right Bob, and now lets go down to the carpet and hear from our Field Corespondent, Amber Skidmarks.

Amber: Thanks, Brent. I just talked to the head coach of the Beavers and he said "We can't let any Beavers come into our house and make a big stink... we're gonna wipe up today".

Brent: I thought Beavers wiped down, Amber.

Amber: Say WHAT?

Bob: Looks like Amber's calling the PMS bowl today, if you know what I mean, huh Brent?

Brent: She needs some Griese Musburger love.

Bob: Uhh...

Brent: How about... see Massengill for your Griese Musburger?

Bob: You're a sick man, Brent.

I'm Dreaming of a White Secular Humanist Holiday

I'm Dreaming of a White Secular Humanist Holiday,
just like the ones I used to snort
Where the mirrors glisten and yuppies listen
to hear the dealer deliver the snow

I'm Dreaming of a White Secular Humanist Holiday,
just like the ones I used to smoke
Where the glass bongs glisten and hippies listen
to hear the DEA outside in the snow

I'm Dreaming of a White Secular Humanist Holiday,
with every Sarah Palin joke card I write
May your days be fuzzy and light,
and may all your Secular Humanist Holidays be white!

10 Questions We Should All Be Asking

Massive Grassroots Movement in USA to Change the World!

10 Questions We Should All Be Asking

1. Is Sarah Palin really that stupid?

2. Will there still be a GOP in four years?

3. Is Snoop Dog Hypoallergenic?

4. If we pull out of Alaska, will they follow us home?

5. Does anyone still want to eat Turkey for Thanksgiving after watching that bloody Palin video?

6. How much will it cost to play a pickup game of hoops with the President?

7. Can I be considered for Basketball Adviser to the President?

8. Do we really want Bill Clinton running around in a house full of women?

9. When George W. Bush finally leaves office, will he be able to find his way home?

10. If Barack met the Dalai Lama and he rang a bell, would the headlines read; Obama Lama Ding Dong?

Barack's first meeting with a foreign representative

Transcript of Barack Obama's first meeting with a foreign representative:

Chief of Staff: Mr. President elect, I want to introduce the official Iranian spokesperson, Hock Patooey.

Hock Patooey: Mr. President elect, we are here to discuss with you the comments you made in your first press conference.

The Pres: Yes.

Hock Patooey: We are a growing nation in a difficult time and a difficult area in the world right now.

The Pres: Yes.

Hock Patooey: We know you have two choices to make on the matter.

The Pres: Yes.

Hock Patooey: On the one hand, you must consider the popular, and on the other the politically correct thing to do.

The Pres: Yes.

Hock Patooey: And we are here to hopefully tip the scales in one direction.

The Pres: Yes.

Hock Patooey: So you can understand why we must protest your hard stance on Iran obtaining a nuclear weapon.

The Pres: Wait a minute... I thought we were talking about the puppie dog!

Hock Patooey: No, sorry sir... we eat dogs!

The Pres: Ok.. well tell your president, what's his name? Badmood AhmadAndThem? That we can solve our differences without violence.

Hock Patooey: What did you have in mind, Mr. President elect?

The Pres: We'll have a competition.

The Pres: How about a swimming competition?

Hock Patooey: Oh yeah, that's real fair, everyone knows you have the best swimmer in the world.

The Pres: Not people... Pigs!

Hock Patooey: Hmmmmm... We do have some nice pigs.

The Pres: Now we're getting somewhere...

IRANIAN PIG FINISHES LAST!

Mr. President

American Grassroots Movement
Makes History!

Fantasy Administration 3

Episode Three - Bringing it Home




McCain: Da Plane, BOSS! Da Plane!

Bush: Yes, I see, McTattoo. We have to hurry and get back to the election.

McCain: Who's on this flight, Boss?

Bush: Well, lets see... Two Joes.. your brother Joe, and Joe the Plummer.

McCain: What's their fantasy, Boss?

Bush: Joe the Plummer wants to be rich, and your brother wants to be W.C. Fields for the weekend.

McCain: He wants to tell jokes and be in a movie?

Bush: No, he wants to drink two quarts of Gin every day and make prank phone calls.

McCain: Joe the Plummer wants to be rich?

Bush: This fantasy is the only way he'll ever amount to anything McTattoo.

McCain: Well, his dream is to wade around in shit every day, so all of this must be fun for him.

Bush: We've hired an expert to tell us how to win the election.

McCain: What did he say, Boss?

Bush: He said to stick to the issues.

McCain: What are the issues, Boss?

Bush: You know... Obama is a muslim, Obama is a terrorist...

McCain: But we're the ones who hired Osama Bin Laden to blow up the World Trade Center, Boss.

Bush: Yes, and if you are elected, it's your job to keep protecting him so nobody ever finds out.

McCain: What if they do find out, Boss?

Bush: Don't worry, little McTattoo... nobody cares anyway.

* * *

Tall buildings near WALL STREET

The vetting of Sarah Palin

Vetterman: I'll ask you some questions and just say whatever comes to mind.

Palin: No Problem.. I do tend to say the first crazy thought that comes through my head sometimes.

Vetterman: Do you know how to catch a Polar Bear?

Palin: No, but I know how to kill a Moose.

Vetterman: You're from Alaska and you don't know how to catch a Polar Bear?

Palin: Uhh...

Vetterman: Is there anything in your background that we need to know about? Scandals, problems, etc.. ?

Palin: Well, there was this bridge to nowhere..

Vetterman: What's a bridge to nowhere?

Palin: I'm a bridge to nowhere.. or I WAS a bridge to nowhere... then I went somewhere.

Vetterman: Huh?

Palin: See, that's how I talk.. I get nervous and the weirdest things come out of my mouth.

Vetterman: I think you'll fit perfectly with John McCain.. He says the nuttiest things you've ever heard!..

Vetterman: Besides George DubYa.. ya know?

Palin: It will be the Unpredictable Ticket!

Vetterman: You can say that again..

Palin: Let me ask you something.. what does the job pay? And how about benefits? I have a slew of kids..

Vetterman: I'll have to check the exact figure but it's a LOT!

Palin: I make a LOT now.

Vetterman: You can stay home and get paid for it.. just like you do now.

Palin: How much does Dick Cheney make? Wink, wink..

Vetterman: Including the "missing" Billions from the Iraq War?Pa

Palin: Yes.. including everything.

Vetterman: Well.. if you're willing to look under the table, as they say..

Palin: Oh hell, I'm crooked as a Pac Ten Football Referee.

Vetterman: I'm sure you'll be happy with the salary. Is there ANYTHING WE SHOULD KNOW?

Palin: How do you catch a Polar Bear, anyway?

Vetterman: You cut a hole in the ice.. surround it with peas.

Vetterman: When the Bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.. Every kid knows this.

Palin: I don't believe in educating kids. Like we say in my house.. Kids should be barefoot and pregnant.

Vetterman: We're looking for a woman.. if you can prove you were born female, you have the job!

Fantasy Administration 2

Episode TWO - Fixing the Economy


McCain: Da Plane, BOSS! Da Plane!

Bush: Yes, I see, McTattoo. We have a real problem on this flight.

McCain: Surely it's nothing we can't handle, Boss?

Bush: I don't know little guy... we could be in trouble this time.

Bush: There's thousands of foreclosures every day and banks are failing right and left.

McCain: But you said Deregulation was a good thing...

Bush: Nevermind that McTattoo, we've run the country into the ground, we're facing
a total depression, there's terrible chaos all around the government, and
Sarah Palin WANTS TO GO MOOSE HUNTING!

McCain: That's her fantasy? She can do that anytime... she lives in Alaska!

Bush: What is it with Vice Presidents? We kill people all week at work, then to relax,
they kill animals for fun on the weekend.

McCain: Well, you know how it is when killing gets in the blood...

Bush: Good news McTattoo... Cindy is also on the plane.

McCain: Oh God! What's her fantasy this time?

Bush: She has a plan to fix the economy.

Bush: She's going to sell a couple pairs of her shoes, and give the money to poor people like
Donald Trump.

McCain: I don't think Donald Trump is poor, Boss.

Bush: Wait a few weeks little buddy... wait a few weeks.

* * *

I apologize to Brandine Spuckler for comparing her to Sarah Palin

And her children... Witney, Jitney, W, Incest, Crystal Meth, International Harvester, and Birthday

Brandine: I never even been to Alasker...

Fantasy Administration

Episode ONE - Mission Impossible

Mccain: Da Plane, BOSS, Da Plane!

Bush: Yes, little McTattoo, we have a lot of work to do. The plane is full and
Donald Rumsfeld is on this flight.

Mccain: What's his fantasy BOSS?

Bush: He wants us to turn him into a human being for the weekend.

Mccain: wow.. that's a tough one. Who else is on there, BOSS?

Bush: Condie Rice wants to know what it's like to be a black person.

Mccain: Not again!

Bush: And Karl Rove just wants us to hide him for a while.

Mccain: He just won't get the hint, huh BOSS?

Bush: No kidding McTattoo... can you say, THIRD WHEEL?

Mccain: Well, as long as they pay the fee... we need money, BOSS.

Bush: Yeah, Wall Street got drunk.

Mccain: and vomited all over you and me, BOSS.

Bush: Don't worry little McTattoo, I have a plan to fix everything.

Bush: We'll run you for president, get you elected, and you can figure it out...

Mccain: Wow.. that IS a fantasy, BOSS!

* * *